Nature Vs Nurture
by Crimson and Chrome 42
Summary: A different take on "Ski Lodge".
1. Chapter 1

Nature vs Nurture

By Crimson and Chrome 42

 _ **Disclaimer: Author will not gain any monetary compensation from this work. This is a work of fiction. The author does not own nor is affiliated with Disney,**_ **Girl Meets World** _ **, nor its creators or producers. Disclaimer applies to full work.**_

 _ **Author's Note: This is an AU, not drastic, but definitely not canon compliant.**_

Chapter One

"No. No, I don't think it is." Lucas said seriously. That was the moment for Maya. That was the moment she knew for certain that not only was Lucas definitely just going along with the "Triangle" thing to make Riley happy but also that Maya and he had never actually been friends. She'd had her doubts, suspicions before, but this confirmed it for her. Her face crumpled, for just a moment, before she slammed her mask back in its place.

She listened to her best friend babble about how Nature (Maya swore she could _hear_ the capitalization in Riley's voice) was going to settle the Triangle (again with the capitalization). Honestly, Maya wasn't paying too close attention, because it sounded an awful lot like the lecture that Matthews had given them all before coming up to the Mt. Sun Ski Lodge; albeit a lot less hostile. She was still thinking about Lucas' pronouncement that he didn't like bantering with her. She'd always assumed that he understood that her teasing had been a sign of her friendship and that she liked him (originally only as a friend, but gradually she came to a place where she thought she could fall for him, given the chance). But that was apparently not the case.

Somebody said something about imagining what life would be like with each girl (with Riley proclaiming that she thought Maya and Lucas would tear each other apart if they were together, and Lucas agreeing that it was more than possible) and Josh announced movie night. Maya shouted that she wanted a spy thriller. In actuality, she wanted a horror film, but the chances of the chaperones allowing that were nil. Her announcement somehow turned into them spinning yarns of what Lucas would experience if he had a relationship with each of the girls. Maya purposefully made hers ridiculous, she was okay with a fantasy, but she knew her life wasn't going to be non-stop danger...Adventure, maybe, but she wasn't planning on that much danger.

Maya hadn't counted on Riley's scenario being not only as ridiculous as her own, but also pretty horrifying on top of that. Okay, so Maya might have pointed out the horrifying aspects of that fantasy (for which Riley reamed her later), at this point, Maya wasn't sure why Lucas hadn't run for the hills at the thought of either of those lives. Lucas voiced a similar opinion, though she noticed that he looked a bit less green at the thought of any life with Riley than with her.  
~~~

It was a relief when Topanga called for lights out. She had noticed the cute guy behind the desk; dark, curly hair, porcelain skin, and cheekbones that could cut glass; he was staring at Riley. He had been, off and on, since he'd replaced the old woman at the desk. Maya couldn't blame him, Riley was beautiful, inside and out, and she had such a unique and somewhat naive view of the world, it was hard not to love her. Maya had no trouble admitting that the guy was very attractive, but she wondered what he was actually like. She was never one to want to be with or around someone if they couldn't have a good friendship, because it took time to build her trust. Of course, if his current line of interest was Riley, Maya wanted nothing to do with him, as all that had done so far was cause problems.

Since Riley was staying downstairs a little longer and Maya was sharing a room with her, she had some time to herself to process things. She hadn't had a lot of time to really think about and process all the things that were happening in her life right now. Her mom was getting married. To Shawn Hunter. That was great, she loved Shawn, he understood her, and loved both of the Hart women. But, there were so many things that were going to have to change with her life with _just_ the impending marriage. They were moving, where to, she didn't know yet. There was going to be a new person living with them and she wasn't sure if Gammy Hart was going to be living with them still, or what. Plus, she was really just getting used to having her mother around and more involved in her life and now she was going to have a whole _other_ parent, she's never had that much parental supervision before...She wasn't sure how to take it. She loves Shawn, but there's still a part of her, a part that fluctuates in size, that is scared that he's going to change his mind and leave. Leave and never come back.

Maya glanced at the clock, it had been awhile and Riley still hadn't come upstairs. It had been at least an hour and Maya had spent all that time contemplating her mother's upcoming marriage and the changes that were coming with it. She hadn't even gotten to the rest of the big things going on in her life lately. Like the fact that Riley was convinced, and had managed to convince basically _everyone else_ that Maya had become another Riley. It was, true that Maya had lost herself a little bit for awhile there, but she didn't think that she'd become a clone of Riley. Honestly, Maya wasn't sure who she was anymore, she was good a pretending to act like she used to, but it took more effort than it should if that was the person she really was now. She must still be lost somewhere.

Maya had a sense that it would be quite awhile until Riley came up to the room if she made it up at all. On her way up to bed, she'd noticed Cheekbones trying to gather his courage to talk to her pretty brunette best friend/sister. That meant, that Maya had the room herself and she could do as she wished. There was no one to have to explain things to and no one for which to keep up her facade.

What she wished was that she wasn't stuck in this room. She was feeling very...Clausterphobic wasn't the right word, maybe _confined_ , either way, she wanted some more space. So, she made her way to the balcony to stare up at the stars. She grabbed a jacket and her art bag on the way out. The sky was breathtaking. So many stars. It rivaled what she'd seen in Texas. With that thought, she was feeling very much confined and her breath was taken for an entirely different reason.

She needed to do _something_. There were a table and chairs to her right, in the corner of the balcony. She looked up again, but not quite as high as the night sky. The roof wasn't that far up if she could just get a bit of a boost...Within a few moments, she'd climbed her way onto the top of the roof. It took a moment to find a flat, comfortable spot, but once she had, she sprawled out and took a deep breath. The feeling of tightness in her chest from being confined on the ground and by her thoughts had lessened. She estimated that in a few more moments it would be gone completely.

The sounds of nature surrounded her. Crickets, cicadas, and owls all chatted with their kin. It was soothing for Maya, it allowed her to feel her problems were very far away. She wished she could stay here forever. Eventually, she began to drowse.

"You know, if you fall from up here, our insurance is going to go through the roof." Maya jumped at the voice and turned her head in its direction. There was and older version of Cheekbones balancing a couple feet away. He appeared to be only a few years older.

She pushed herself up on her elbows. "Nah, your insurance wouldn't cover it if I fell because I came up here on my own. You guys wouldn't be liable."

He smiled and pointed his chin to a spot next to her. "You got enough room for some company?"

She scooted over a bit. "Sure. I'm Maya."

"Thanks. I'm Jordan. My family owns this lodge."

Maya nodded, choosing to not mention that she'd already figured that out.

"What brings you up here?"

Maya considered a slightly sarcastic answer, such as _my legs_ , but opted for a less literal one. "I was feeling a little cooped up in my room and wanted some fresh air."

"You know, we have perfectly good stairs, right? In fact, they are awesome stairs. Hand carved by...someone. I don't know who, I stopped listening at that point."

Maya laughed. She got a good feeling about Jordan. "Lights out has already been called by the chaperones, so actually using the stairs to get outside was kind of out of the question."

"Oh, you're here with the Abigail Adams group."

"Yep." She popped the 'p' when she answered this time.

"Would it be too personal of me to ask why you felt the need to escape our lovely rooms?"

Maya sighed, she knew that sometimes it was easier to tell a stranger about personal problems because they didn't have a stake in them or something like that. But right now, she just didn't want to think about it. "Um. Maybe I'll tell you about it later?"

She felt Jordan nod next to her. "Okay. What would you like to talk about then?"

Maya let out a mental sigh of relief, not sure why she _was_ relieved in the first place. "I don't know." She admitted. "How about you tell me a little bit about yourself and I'll tell you a little bit about myself?"

"Sounds like a plan, Miss Maya. Okay, let's see, you already know my first name and that my family owns this lodge… Well, actually, my mom's side of the family own the lodge, but we run it. She taught me to love the outdoors and the mountains. But my dad is an artist, he mostly paints, but he'll do a sculpture every now and then. He runs a little gallery in town."

Maya perked up at the mention of art. "Really? That's amazing! I _love_ art too. Sometimes, I think it's the only thing I'm good at!"

"I doubt that's the _only_ thing you're good at, Maya, but I understand where you're coming from. There are times that I feel like my music is the only thing I've got going for me."

Maya asked about his music and he asked about her art. They talked for hours about anything that popped into their heads. They compared favorite artists and movies and bands and T.V. shows and books and authors and subjects in school. They talked about how they didn't understand how someone could actually _pick a favorite color_ when each color had it's own unique attributes and uses and beauty.

Maya learned that Jordan was 17-years-old and he had a little brother, Evan (Cheekbones from downstairs) and two little sisters, twins, Abby and Annie. Both of his parents had been born in New York and while his dad, Rick, had grown up there, his mom, Lauren, had moved up here when she was thirteen. His parents had met during their respective Senior Trips while in high school. They had bonded over the last scoop of cherry chocolate chip at an ice cream shop and the rest was history.

She also learned that both he and Evan worked at the lodge, not only to help out their family but for extra spending money. His band also worked the weddings and other venues that came through...Well, they had first auditions, anyway.

Maya talked long about her art and her music and how they were her passions. She told Jordan about her fears about her mom and Shawn getting married. And about how she was feeling lost and unsure of who she was anymore. She talked a little bit about her friends and how they were part of the reason she wasn't sure anymore.

Jordan didn't try to offer any advice, he just listened. For that Maya was grateful. She knew she needed to figure this out on her own and he seemed to understand that as well. Maya yawned and stretched. She took a moment to appreciate Jordan in the lightening darkness. Not only was he a terrific listener and put her at ease without any effort, it seemed. He was also very good looking, physically. The color of his eyes reminded her of storm clouds, grey-blue, with hints of silver. His hair was a dark brown, almost black, and he kept it in messy curls. He had the same sharp cheekbones as his brother, or rather, his brother had the same cheekbones as Jordan. His mouth was sensitive and expressive. His skin was light, but with light freckles sprinkling the bridge of his nose. His nose was slightly crooked where he'd broken it after failing to turn properly and on time while skiing and run into a tree (he'd told her the story a few hours before).

He was looking at her too, in the same appraising way she imagined she was looking at him. Strangely, she didn't feel self-conscious about it. She felt peaceful and safe up here with him. It had been a long time since she'd felt like that. Then, she noticed the sun peeking out from the horizon and realised that they'd been up there all night. She was okay with that too.  
~~~

They watched the sunrise together for a few minutes before he broke their silence. "I really enjoyed talking to you, Maya. I'd like to do it again."

She smiled at him. "I'd like that too. Here, I'll give you my number and we can keep this up after I've gone back to the City." He gave her his number too and they scrambled their ways back to where they needed to be.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Once Maya got back into her room, she heard Topanga making her way toward the room to wake her up, just as she had been doing with the rest of the girls that had come on the trip. There was a brief moment of panic as Maya wondered what would happen if she were caught already up, but still wearing yesterday's clothes. And if anyone would notice, it would be Topanga Lawrence-Matthews.

Topanga was getting closer, Maya could hear her just across the hall. She had just enough time to kick off her shoes and dive under the covers before her door opened. "Rise and shine, Maya! It's time for breakfast!"

"Okay, I'm up!" Maya replied, trying to sound tired (which wasn't much of a problem) and rising to her elbows to prove her statement (and keep yesterday's blouse covered). Topanga nodded, closed the door, and moved on to the next room's wake-up call.

Maya heaved a sigh of relief and fell back onto the bed. It was at that point, that she noticed Riley's bed hadn't been slept in and Topanga had only addressed her in the wake-up. So, Maya must have been right about Riley spending some time talking with Evan last night. She hoped that her friend had had as good a chat as she had with his brother.

She changed clothes and headed downstairs for breakfast, meeting Lucas, Zay, Farkle, and Smackle on the way. When they got to the landing, the fireworks started as Lucas noticed Evan and Maya pointed out that Riley was still wearing yesterday's clothing (she didn't know _why_ she'd done that, other than to piss off Lucas...It worked).

Maya quite agreed with Riley that she didn't owe them an explanation, her parents obviously already knew what was going on, but Lucas didn't seem to agree, he stood there, looking at the brunette expectantly.

Riley put her hand on her hip and tried to bluster her way through it. "Well, I'm hobbled. And—and I… Well, I don't owe you an explanation. Maya! What are we gonna do today?"

Maya went over and hugged her as Lucas walked off, a little too calmly. Zay and Josh followed him a few moments later. Riley went upstairs to shower and change. And Maya decided to get some breakfast. This was a lot to deal with on a night of no sleep _and_ an empty stomach. She needed caffeine in her system before having to deal with all the drama that was going to be today.

There was a breakfast buffet this morning, with all the usual suspects to be found. Unfortunately, the only caffeinated beverage she could find was coffee and even if she had actually wanted to drink some, Cory was policing the pot and not letting any of his students have any. Which Maya thought was probably one of the stupidest things to try and limit, but that was Matthews for her. She sighed and went to find a table, resolving to find some caffeine later, even if it was going to have to be coffee.

After seating herself at a table with a view of the trails out the back, Maya heard somebody clear their throat behind her. She turned and found both Evan and Jordan standing there, with plates of food and drinks in hand. "Mind if we join you?" Jordan asked.

Maya smiled, noticing that there Jordan was holding an extra cup. "Es Tu casa, mi casa."

Jordan laughed and sat next Maya while Evan took the seat across from her. "I'm Evan and you must be Maya."

"If I must, I must. Though, I'd rather be Lara Parker." Maya kept her poker face. Evan blinked, momentarily knocked off balance, before Maya winked at him, letting him know she was joking.

"This is for you." Jordan placed a mug in front of her.

Maya took a sip, the notion of not drinking anything she didn't prepare for herself only appearing in her mind _after_ she'd done it. It was Coke. "I think I love you."

"Well, that would solve a lot of problems, wouldn't it?" Evan asked.

She raised a brow. "That must have been some chat you had with Riles last night."

"It was."

"Ev." There was a warning in Jordan's voice.

Maya glanced at him. "No, he's right, it would, but I have a feeling that this weekend will resolve a lot of those issues."

Evan held her gaze for a moment longer and then nodded approvingly as if he'd come to a decision. "So, I hear Riley and I weren't the only ones up late chatting?"

Maya glanced at Jordan and tilted her head in Evan's direction as if to ask if he was okay. Jordan nodded and Maya turned back to his brother. "Aw, c'mon, Cheekbones, we couldn't let you guys have all the fun, could we?" This got a laugh out of both the boys and broke the ice.  
~~~

Maya found that she liked Evan as much as she liked Jordan. He was smart and thoughtful and funny, even if he didn't quite have the same sharp tongue as Jordan and he had a different and interesting view of the world. She had the feeling that she was going to have a fun time learning about their similarities and differences. Maya had no doubt in her mind that she'd made two new friends that were going to be in her life for awhile.

They continued to tease and talk throughout the rest of their breakfast. None of them noticed when Josh, Lucas, Zay, and Riley entered the dining room. But they heard a strangled yell and turned just in time to see Zay scurrying after Lucas's and Josh's retreating backs and Riley staring after them. She shot a confused glance to her tablemates, who looked _slightly_ less confused than she.

"Hey, Riles?" She called across the room. Her friend turned to look at her and began her way over to the table. "What was that all about?" Maya asksed when Riley arriveed.

Riley shook her head in wonderment and gave a half-hearted shrug.

Maya decided she didn't really want to know, she had enough to think about as it was and didn't really have it in her to care all that much right then—maybe if it was still a problem when they all got home, but while they were at the Mt. Sun Lodge she was not going to worry about it. "This is Jordan. And you already know Cheekbones." Riley gave them a shy smile.

"What is with the Cheekbones nickname?" Evan asked, a little exasperated.

Maya waved her hand, a little dismissively. "It fits you."

"You might as well accept it, Evan, she's not going to stop calling you that, and the more you let her know you don't like it, the more she'll use it." Riley supplied.

"I didn't say I didn't like it." He smiled and Maya watched Riley melt at the edges from it. Lucas better tell Riley soon that he'd picked her, or he might lose her.

"How about I get you a plate, Riles?" Maya was already halfway up when Riley nodded.

"Well, I've got a hike to lead," Jordan announced to the table once Maya had returned with a plate piled high with all of Riley's favorites. Evan waved at his brother, deep in conversation with Riley.

Maya looked at Jordan, who jerked his head towards the entrance to the dining hall, a question in his eyes. Maya nodded. "I'll catch up with you later, Riles." Riley barely acknowledged her. It had been a long while since she'd seen her best friend so content. It made Maya happy.

She followed Jordan out to the lobby. Lucas, Josh, and Zay were sitting side-by-side in front of the fireplace. Zay was trying to talk to both the boys, but they were resolutely looking straight ahead and giving one-word answers. Zay looked like he was coming to the end of his patience.

Maya refocused her attention on Jordan. "So, leading the couple's hike?"

"Yeah, usually I love hiking, but I'd much rather be hanging out with you today."

"I'd much rather be hanging out with you too. But you have to work and I have a triangle to solve." They'd briefly touched on her current predicament with her friends earlier, but it was something Maya still didn't want to think about; she just wanted it to be _over_. "How long do you think you'll be on your hike?"

"Couple hours, two and a half tops."

Maya nodded. "Maybe we can hang out after you get back? If the chaperones don't have something planned, that is?"

"Sounds like a plan. You can grab your camera and I'll take you to some of the best spots for photo ops, so you can take some inspiration home with you."

That gave Maya something to look forward to, some time where she didn't have to live up to someone's idea of who she was, but she could just be, without thinking about it. She squeezed his hand as he headed to the designated area to meet his group. Then, she squared her shoulders and turned to face the rest of the lobby.

She ran into Josh. He had that patented (and if it wasn't, _should be_ patented) Matthews heart-to-heart look on his face. Oh, great, just what she needed. Someone else trying to give her sage advice about how to handle the current situation. "'Sup, Boing?"

"Maya, what is going on with you?" He was ushering her toward the bay window (was there a rule that she had been previously unaware of that stated that everywhere she went there _must be_ a bay window?).

"I think you're going to have to be more specific, Josh. There's a lot going on with me."

"Riley told me that you haven't been yourself lately."

"Are you referring to the fact that Riley has convinced herself and half of the people we know that I turned into another her?"

"That's the one."

Maya sighed. Half the time, _she_ was convinced that she'd turned into another Riley. But other than the clothes, which had been Shawn's idea (one for which he's apologised profusely after they visited him upstate) and the nicest things she owned at the time, she'd really just picked up on a few of her friends' (it wasn't just Riley) better habits. She liked getting good grades and besides, the classes in high school were both suddenly more interesting and more challenging. So what if she didn't feel the need to cause constant chaos everywhere she went? Sometimes it was better to plan and do it up right. Plus, while she'd been blocked with her painting, she'd been channelling her feelings and frustrations into other areas. She'd been writing, both music and pieces reflecting her thoughts and emotions, in general. And she'd been using a camera that Shawn had gotten her for Christmas (to capture inspiration for her paintings) more often as an outlet for her art.

"Do any of us really know who we are at this age? Aren't our lives supposed to be about exploring ourselves and figuring out who we are and all that jazz?" Maya waved her arms for emphasis.

"I know you are the best friend that anyone could ever ask for." Josh mused. "You'd do anything to protect them."

Great, so Riley'd convinced Boing that she'd become a clone too. "So, you think that I became Riley to protect her?" Seriously, that was a ridiculous idea... _become someone to protect them?_ Wasn't it more likely that she'd done it to protect _herself_? That made more sense, but didn't feel right. People grow, they change, they mature. _People change people_.

"Maya, I don't know if it's because your Dad left, so you never felt that kind of love, but you've got the biggest heart for love that I've ever seen."

Maya blinked back tears.

"Do you like him?"

"Who?"

"Friar."

"Well, he's a good guy and he and Riley will be great together. They'll make each other happy."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Maya thought about it. "Well, I did pour a smoothie on his head when he tried to use the same line on me that he'd used on Riley." Josh laughed at that. "But, I honestly don't know. I _could_." She admitted. "But, there's so much going on in my life right now and with me and my mom and Shawn and everything, I don't want the added pressure of trying to figure it out. Basically, I think that he and Riley have unfinished business to attend to and even if he were going to pick me, which is unlikely, they need to be happy now."

Josh took her hand. "Hart, it's _not_ unlikely that he'd pick you. You're gorgeous, generous, loyal, and compassionate. You're funny and sarcastic and an adventure to be around. All of which is bad for me..."

Maya cocked her head. "Why is that bad for you?"

"Because it means that it's harder for me to do the right thing and stay away from you."

Maya blushed. He was saying all the right things, all the things she wanted to hear. But somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that he'd been right before, for them, three years was a lot of age gap, one that was slowly closing as they matured, but still. She also knew, that the things she had listed that she liked about him, while important and a good start, were also only a fraction of who he was, she didn't really know him. And he didn't really know her.

"Josh, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying," he heaved a big sigh, "That I'm starting the long game with you. I'm moving my piece past 'Go'."

"So, what does that mean?"

"It means, that you live your life and I'll live mine and if someday it's right..."

Maya nodded. Basically, he was not taking the possibility of them getting together, down the road, off the table. She was good with that. She could live with that. It gave them time to get to know one another and to figure things out for themselves. She also knew that meant that they weren't really going to be doing much differently than what they were now, just maybe talking to each other a bit more. "Okay. That's totally doable. Maybe we could talk every once in awhile and get to know some _other_ things about each other. Be friends?"

"We aren't already friends?"

"Closer friends?"

"Okay, it's a deal." He smiled and finally let go of her hand. She didn't really want to contemplate why he'd been holding her hand all this time, or why she'd let him.

She smiled back and looked over to the reception area. It seemed the rest of her class had finished breakfast and were gathered in the seating area in front of the desk. Evan was there too, sitting across from Riley and next to Lucas, who was looking particularly mutinous. Josh followed her line of sight.

"I guess we should see what's going on."

"Yep." She popped the 'p' and started over in that direction, with Josh following.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Hey, what's going on?" She asked, taking the empty seat next to Riley. Josh took the one next to Lucas, across from her.

"We're going to play a game," Evan informed her, gesturing with a green book.

"Okay…?"

"It's called _Who Belongs with Who_. It's been sitting behind the desk for a long time."

Maya was fairly certain that was supposed to be _Who Belongs with Whom_ , but well, semantics. Plus, it sounded like a bad idea. She caught the sparkle in Evan's eye, he was up to something…

"NO!" Cory bellowed, jumping from the direction of the stairs leading up to the rooms. "No good can come of this!"

"It's just a game, Matthews," Maya said, even if she thought that their mountain friend was up to something, she still thought Cory was overreacting.

"No, no it's not! I remember that book! That book is _evil_! The first question is 'If you could change your partner into any spirit animal what would it be' ? The right answer is a 'falcon'! It's the only answer!" He made little wings with his arms. "You know why? Because _I'm_ the falcon!"

Yep, definitely overreacting. And she was guessing that he and Topanga played this game when they were here and it had not gone well. Maya rolled her eyes and focused her attention back on Evan.

"Well, let's play." Said Riley. "Let's find out _Who Belongs with Who_."

"Alright. First question—"

"'If you could change your partner into any spirit animal what would it be'?"

Corey whimpered. "Fine," he huffed, "you all deserve what you get!" And he stomped back upstairs.

"No, this is _Who Belongs with Who: The Next Generation_. So, the first question is: What is the most important thing in a relationship? A. Romance—"

"Romance! What else is there?"

"He said ' _any_ relationship'." Josh pointed out.

"That means friendships, too," Farkle added.

"B. Adventure," Evan continued. Maya felt everyone look her way, some subtly, some not so much, this was what she was expected to answer. She knew bait when she heard it, though. Besides, while a little adventure was good for most relationships, overdoing it could be very bad. Balance was key.

"..."

"Why's it always gotta be danger with you! You always break the rules!" Lucas burst out before she could even utter a sound. He got up and stormed off.

"What's he got—" she began, looking over at Zay.

"It's who he used to be, maybe he's learned something," Zay said shortly while going after his friend.

Maya was hurt and Maya was angry. She tried to control her feelings as best she could, but everyone was looking at her, expecting her response. So she gave them one. "Well, Jesus Christ!"

"Maya!" Riley gasped.

"What was I supposed to do? Let Farkle fall off the side of a mountain?" She threw up her hands. "You know what? I need to get the fuck outta here." And she made a beeline for the front door, without a look back. She felt like she was being suffocated and that she was burning—and not in a good way.

The edges of her vision were ringed in dark red and all she wanted was to be _away_. Away from all of her so-called friends that were always telling her who to be and how to be and what she should feel and—and the fucking box they'd put her in was feeling way more like a cage than usual. Her skin itched and crawled. She _needed to move_. She was dimly aware of Zay and Lucas up ahead, in a little area for tourists. She kept going.

She felt like fire was coming from her ears—like in those old cartoons she watched on Saturday mornings—it was almost a funny image, if it weren't such an uncomforable sensation. She flexed her hands, clenching them into fists, unclenching them, then clenching them again. Her eyes burned.

"Maya now's not—" She vaguely heard Zay begin, but she just breezed by them without even acknowledging they were there. As far as she was concerned, if she were forced into engaging with either of the Texans at this moment, it would not end pretty. She was not in control right now and things were just going to get worse if she didn't get somewhere where she could calm down. She was starting to feel short of breath and she felt a heavy weight in her chest and the air in her lungs felt superheated. The rest of her body felt cold. It hurt to take a breath.

"Hey, Maya. I'll be with you in a few minutes, I've got to go let them know I'm back and I'll be back out on the property." Jordan greeted her, while the happy couples from his hike streamed around him toward the lodge. He stopped and examined her. "Maya, what's wrong?"

Maya's voice seemed to be locked somewhere inside her. All she could do was try to catch her breath. He gently placed his hands on her arms, holding her in place. "Maya, slow down, okay? I think you're having a panic attack."

If she'd been able, Maya would've laughed and asked what his first clue was.

He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. Her ear rested on his heart, she could hear its steady beat through his shirt and feel his chest rise and fall with his own breath. "Try to match your breathing to mine," he whispered and took a measured breath and then another.

Maya moved her arms around his waist and held on for dear life, doing her best to follow his instructions and match his breathing. It seemed to be working, she felt calmer, more grounded. It was becoming easier to breathe. The weight was lessening and the air in her lungs was cooling. She no longer felt like her head was on fire, either.

After a few moments, she whispered, "Thank you, J."

She felt his chin move on top of her head as he nodded. "No worries, Shortcake. You still up for that tour?"

"Yeah, I just need my camera." She really did not want to go back into that lodge to get her stuff. While she might be feeling a little more stable, she still wasn't ready to deal with all the stuff going on in there.

"Where is it? Maybe I can get it for you."

"It's in a satchel in my room. If I give you my key would you be able to get it for me?"

"Yeah, I think I can swing that. But you're going to have to let me go." She could hear the amusement in his voice, but she didn't feel like he was laughing at her.

Maya gave him one more squeeze and then let go. "Here's my room key. It's in a brown leather satchel on the bed. You might as well just bring the entire bag. Oh, it's got the initials 'MPH' on the front."

Jordan nodded and took her key. "Got it, brown leather satchel, initials 'MPH', on the bed. I'll be back in 5 to 10. I'll meet you at that bench over there, okay? You look like you need to sit."

Maya sat down on the bench and pulled out her cell phone. She sent off a quick text to Topanga. _I'm going out hiking with one of the employees. I have my phone with me._

Topanga replied about thirty seconds later. _Maya, that's not really allowed._

 _Please, Topanga? I really need to do something, if I don't do it now, it'll be really bad later._

 _Okay, but check in with me every hour._

 _That I can do. Thank you._

 _Be safe, Sweetheart._

Maya took another deep breath and put her phone away, then took it back out again. She set a reminder to text Topanga in an hour. When she was done with that she looked back at the lodge. Her brows furrowed, she knew she was going to have to deal with her little outburst sooner or later. She wouldn't be able to avoid it, but God did she want to.

Luckily she didn't have to dwell on it any longer because Jordan was headed back her way. Not only was he carrying her bag, but also what looked like a picnic basket. Maya couldn't help but be grateful to him. That gave her just that much more time to recover and figure out how to deal with everything that had gone on this morning.

"Hey, I brought lunch!" Jordan announced, handing her the leather satchel.

Maya laughed. "I see that! Thanks."

"So, you ready to go find some inspiration?"

"Let's go!" They set off toward the ski slopes.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"Are you feeling better?" Jordan asked after a few minutes of walking.

Maya took a moment to think about her answer. "I'm not having a panic attack anymore and the farther away we get from the lodge, for now, the better I feel."

"What happened that caused the attack?"

Maya sighed. "An awful lot of pressure to live up to who my friends think I am." By now they had come to the place where the ski lifts were—they weren't running in the offseason, but they were a perfect place to sit and talk for a bit.

Jordan frowned. "Who do they think you are?"

"The class rebel. Well, the _other_ class rebel. Or maybe the class _pet_ rebel. And, sometimes I am. But it's not who I am all the time. Thing is, I liked getting good grades and feeling like I'm book smart. And while I am no stranger to breaking rules, I _do_ put a little thought into which ones I'm breaking and what the consequences might be when I do it." She looked up at him. Jordan nodded and cocked his head at her.

So she started somewhere in the beginning, with the comments about her home life. Maya had learned to live with those, she didn't like them, but they had just become a part of her persona, somehow. She talked about how Riley had revealed her feelings, or what she _thought_ were her feelings, for Lucas to him and the rest of her friends, without her consent. Maya, at that point, and even still at this one, wasn't sure _what_ her feelings were for the Texan, but she definitely wasn't ready to discuss them with anybody yet. And then she'd been forced, again by Riley, into going on a date with Lucas, which was incredibly awkward, because neither of them knew how to handle the sudden change in the status of their relationship. Lucas wasn't the only one who was tired all the time, Maya was too. 

Something that had stuck with Maya, in particular, was a comment that Riley had made about Maya having five husbands. It had hurt that her best friend thought that she wasn't capable of making a marriage work. It hurt as much when Riley started freaking out that Maya had made a better grade than she did. Lucas and Farkle had had a bad week as well and they'd made a comment that they were the "losers" now. Did that mean that's what the others really thought of her? Someone to be pitied? Why couldn't they just be happy that she and Smackle and Zay had done well?

Maya explained her supposed "identity crisis"...

"Wait, hold it. _These_ are the people you call your friends?" Jordan interjected.

Maya nodded. "It all sounds bad when you don't have any of the good stuff that comes with it. I don't think they know they do any of this stuff. And a lot of it is spread out over time."

Jordan nodded. "I guess you're right. I guess without context, anyone can start to sound like a bad friend or boyfriend, girlfriend, whathaveyou. Alright, continue."

"Well, after going Upstate to visit Shawn, my friends expected me to be like I used to—Always breaking the rules and causing trouble, all that stuff. Mr. Matthews even compared me to Mt. Vesuvius and they all just expected me to explode, which to be honest, I was ready to because it seems like anytime I try to be the way they want me to be I mess it up somehow."

"Did you ever consider it's because that's not who you are?"

"I'm starting to wonder." Not only did she want to make her friends happy, because they deserved that and more, but also maybe if she could be the Maya they wanted she would finally feel a little bit of that happiness herself. Sometimes it was hard to feel _anything_. There were mornings that she regretted waking up and just wanted to fade off to nothingness again. And stay there. She didn't mention this to Jordan.

Jordan was scrutinising her, waiting for her to continue. "First, they thought I'd pulled the fire alarm at school and then they thought I'd stolen a hundred bucks from _Topanga's_ , that's the bakery that Riley's mom owns. My mom works there and we hang out there a lot. They didn't believe me when I told them that I hadn't done either of those things until the principle announced the fire alarm was a glitch and my mom found the missing money under the money drawer."

"That would hurt anyone."

"What hurt worse was how _hopeful_ they sounded when they accused me like _that's all_ they hoped I'd done."

Jordan rubbed her back, he seemed to be at a loss for what to say. He could tell that Maya loved her friends very much, but he could also tell that's why these things hurt her so much. These were the people who's opinions meant the most to her and she was questioning what their opinion of _her_ was.

Maya detailed her "rebellion" at the park, which made Jordan laugh with delight. It seemed that even when she was trying to break the rules, Maya was trying to make people happy. He definitely liked this girl, she had such a huge heart.

"When we got up here, Riley and Lucas declared the 'Triangle is back on', because I'm 'back'. I realised after yesterday when we got back from our nature hike that Lucas and I were never really friends, to begin with, he doesn't know me at all and I don't think I know much about him. He was angry with me for breaking the rules again."

Jordan cocked his head to the side, asking silently what had happened.

"Farkle went off the trail, chasing a butterfly, and he fell off a cliff or something, I'm not quite sure what, but the point is there was no ground close under him and he was hanging, by his fingertips, from a tree branch. I helped him back up."

"So you went off the trail to help a friend? Where was _Mr. Perfect_ when all of this was happening?" Quite frankly, Jordan wasn't sure what _anyone_ saw in this Lucas guy, beyond his being a pretty face. He sounded like a pretty big jerk.

"He was checking on Smackle, Farkle's girlfriend, who was hollering 'Help, Lucas, help!' She likes to tease him about hitting on her, I don't think she knew Farkle was in trouble."

"So, what's he upset about, then? He went off to help a friend too, granted she wasn't in trouble, but he didn't know that at the time."

"He says it's because I put myself in danger. But, what was I supposed to do? There wasn't enough time to go get any of the chaperones and nobody else seemed to be doing anything. Besides, even if _that_ was why he was angry with me, why isn't he upset with Farkle too? He's the one that went off the trail in the first place, it's not like I planned any of it!"

Okay, so now Lucas Friar was a big, _self-righteous_ jerk and Jordan really didn't like how he was treating Maya. "Which brings us to this morning." He prompted, following a hunch.

"We were playing _Who Belongs with Who_ ," Maya started and Jordan groaned, _that_ had his brother written all over it. "And Lucas stormed off when he decided that the most important thing to me in a relationship is _adventure._ He wasn't the only one that decided that it would be my answer, everyone expected me to say it too. Lucas's best friend, Zay, informed me that I'm who Lucas _used_ to be and that maybe he'd 'learned something from it'. I'd had enough and left. I just needed to _get out_ , I felt like the walls were closing in on me and all the air was being sucked out of me and I just—" she broke off, that feeling, the need to _flee,_ was coming back.

Her alarm to text Topanga went off.

"What's that?"

"I'm supposed to check in with Topanga every hour while I'm out here."

"Oh, okay."

Maya positioned her phone to take a selfie to send to her second mother and Jordan leaned in and posed with her. _Twelve o'clock and all's well_. Maya captioned their photo and sent it off.

Her phone _pinged_ a moment later.

 _Thanks, sweetie, looks like you're having fun. Check back in an hour._

 _Okay, will do._

Maya set another reminder and looked back at Jordan. "Can we maybe get some more hiking in before we eat? I'm feeling a need to move."

"Absolutely, Ms. Hart, I would be honored." He bowed and offered her his arm, making Maya giggle and smile at him as she accepted.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

They wandered the grounds, talking, laughing, and taking pictures for hours. Maya checking in with Topanga as promised (she sent more pictures as proof of life as well). Jordan managed to get Maya out of her head, for the moment, and she let the weight of everything she had going on just lift from her shoulders for awhile. They had lunch in a clearing, off one of the trails.  
~~~

Maya was in love with it here. The Mount Sun Ski Lodge and its grounds were magical, she was convinced. It was so easy being with Jordan, she felt _free_.

Her phone pinged again, about 4:30. It was Riley. _Where are you? Are you okay?_

 _I'm fine, Riles. Just out enjoying the grounds._

 _You need to come back. We have to resolve this Triangle._

Maya rolled her eyes. This was the first time she'd heard from any of her friends all day and of course it was about the stupid "Triangle". So many _other_ things in her life and the world, in general, to worry about and _this_ is what Riley chooses to push.

 _I'll be back in awhile. It can wait._ And with that, she put her phone away, fully intending to ignore it until five, when she needed to text Topanga again, also when she planned on being close to back to the Lodge.

"Man, she is really anxious to resolve that, isn't she?"

"Yeah, she really likes him. And, well, I liked the person I _thought_ Lucas was, but, honestly, I don't know anymore. I've spent a good seven years protecting Riley from anything I could and I think, as a result, she sometimes forgets that there are other things going on that might be more important at different times." Maya snapped one last picture of the mountainscape. "We should probably start to head back, I'd like to be back by at least 5:30."

Jordan nodded, he had been about to suggest the same thing, though he really didn't want to leave. He liked being out there with Maya.

They made it back to the Lodge at 5:15, but lingered outside for a few more minutes.

"Thanks for listening to me and calming down from my panic attack. I loved hanging out with you today."

Jordan smiled. "Anytime, Shortcake. I loved hanging out with you today too. You're a really interesting person to talk to." He pulled her in for a friendly hug.

"Thanks, you aren't too bad yourself, Jordy." She took a deep breath, looking back at the Lodge behind her. "Wish me luck, I'm goin' in."

"You don't need luck! You're Maya Penelope Hart! A known, fuckin' badass! You got this."

Maya laughed, then she squared her shoulders and marched herself back inside and back into the drama.

The first thing Maya noticed was that Evan was behind the reception desk. He nodded to her when she entered. The next thing she noticed was that Lucas and Zay had stationed themselves in front of the fireplace and looked to be deep in conversation. Riley and Josh were in the Bay window, also deep in conversation. And Cory and Topanga were cuddled up on a couch, gazing out at the scenery. The rest of her classmates seemed to be either absent or scattered around various places outside.

"My brother with you?" Evan asked her when she got close enough.

"Yeah, he's right behind me." At that moment, she felt someone come up behind her and place their hand in the small of her back.

Evan laughed, "Yes, I can see that. Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, I guess. I was, at least. Also, the answer to your question—"

"It was C. Conversation. Heh!" Farkle interrupted her, his arm around Smackle.

"We got it right."

Maya blinked at them. "No, the answer is _D. Communication_. Big difference between 'communication' and 'conversation'." Out of the corner of her eye, Maya saw Jordan give her a proud smile. Evan also smiled at her answer."And E. Trust."

"Peaches!" She heard Riley squeal. She looked up and saw her friend hobbling in her direction, with the help of Josh.

"Hey, Honey. How's the ankle?"

Jordan patted her back one last time and bowed out to go check in with his mother.

"It's better. Now that you're back, we can resolve this whole _Triangle_ thing!"

"What happened to letting Nature end it?" Maya asked. The rest of their friends had joined them by now, to see if there was finally going to be a resolution. Lucas and Zay were off to one side, making kind of a loose square with Maya and Riley, Josh just behind his neice—torn between escape and watching the show. Evan was watching intently from his post behind the reception desk and the rest of the Abigal Adams group, well, the ones that had wandered in, were scattered about, loosely keeping to their own cliques.

Maya led Riley and Lucas to a window in the corner, for more privacy.  
~~~

"I think it should be a decision we all make."

Maya looked at him askance, he _could not be serious_. "Yeah, Lucas, you've said as much, many times, but it hasn't worked out that way, has it?" She didn't give him time to answer, she was going to give them all what they expect, just maybe not in the way they want it. "Listen, I don't know what the two of you are going to decide, you're going to have to do that on your own. But I'm _done_. I'm _out_. I've got too many other things to deal with right now. I don't need the added stress." She wanted to leave but knew it would be unfair to not let Riley and Lucas have their say.

"Maya, you deserve to be happy too, I won't let you step back again."

Maya looked at Lucas, he was looking at Riley, but she couldn't read his expression.

"Riles, you don't get to decide that for me. Who ever said that I stepped back to begin with? _You_ did. _I'm_ taking myself out of the equation because I'm tired and because and I don't want to deal with this right now. Besides, you and Lucas have things you need to work out between yourselves and I have stuff I have to work out myself. It ends for me here, right now. If you guys want to date, date, if you don't don't, but don't use me as the excuse." Because if there was one thing Maya was certain of, it was that part of Riley's insistence with all of the Triangle business was an excuse for Riley, in case she and Lucas didn't work out like Cory and Topanga. Riley had been raised with the fairytale parents and believed that she was supposed to end up with her first love, and only her first love, she was afraid to fail at that.

But Maya knew that there was only one Cory and Topanga and trying to be them was doomed to fail. What Riley needed to do was be Riley. But Maya also knew that her friend needed to learn that lesson the hard way—she wasn't going to listen any other way.

"Maya..." Lucas said as she got up to leave.

"Lucas, I know you didn't ask for any of this and I'm sorry that I took away your right to decide again, but honestly, I'm just so tired. You and Riley talk." And she left, knowing that she'd done the right thing for everyone, for the moment.

 _ **Fin**_

 _ **(For now)**_

 _ **Author Note: I'm currently considering/planning either a sequel or a companion to this piece. I don't know how long before it will be posted. I originally started this to help me work through some writer's block I had for an original piece I'm working on and because I was diappointed with the way the "Ski Lodge" episodes were handled. Anyway, I hope y'all enjoyed!**_


End file.
